At what degree will you work to achieve your goals?

A sense of anxiety sets in when asked to set goals.  When I ask the question, almost every individual will dance around answering.  We all know that it is important to set goals.  But at what degree will we work to achieve them.  I spoke about fear in one of my posts.  Fear is the number one reason most people will not set them or write them down.  Failure is hard for anyone to swallow, therefore if we keep our ideas and possibilities of what we are capable of achieving in our minds then no one will know if we are unable to achieve them.


I will be referring to the year of 2011 in many of my posts as I continue to write.  Here's the thing...  I wasn't certain of a damn thing when I lost my marriage, but I was 100% certain that I wanted to inspire men and women to face the hand that was dealt head on (unwanted divorce, death, substance abuse).  We all have our own demons we face and we either take control or we don't.  It was December 2011 that I set my goals and wrote those goals in a series of journals.  One of my goals was to begin a blog and eventually write a book.  Throughout these five years, I have hit rock bottom a few times and eventually found that rock bottom actually had a basement.  There are many of my friends and family who knew of this outlandish thinking and each time I spoke about it, I could hear crickets.  I understood that privacy is important to us, especially the skeletons we all have in our closets.  For me, I knew that I was going to do good things, and although I am unsure of how my story will end I am certain that if I was able to make a difference with my story in the life of just one person, well then I achieved what I set out to do.

You see, there isn't a time line in achieving goals.  There were many times I began to write, it was all bullshit by the way.  I was writing about all I was able to achieve despite the barriers.  The reader was only going to see that a forty something woman told part of the story.  How could I relate to the audience if I couldn't speak of who I really was.  It has taken five years to get to this point and so the step is big.

The new year is amongst us.  There isn't any correct way to set your goals... Just write the damn goals down!

Number 1

Remember there are no timelines. 

Number 2

Be aggressive, it is only then that you truly see what you are capable of achieving.  Who cares if you lost ten pounds.  Think bigger, think bigger thoughts.  If it is ten pounds, then lose the ten pounds and add to that by eating clean for one year, thus establishing a lifestyle change.

Number 3

Keep your goals written down and posted where you can see those set goals everyday.

Lastly, trust in your craft enough to admire it, study it, perfect it, breath it and never stop getting better at whatever it is that you are passionate about.

THE COMPETITIVE MIND

THE COMPETITIVE MIND

What drives us?  we are all driven differently.  For me when I do something, I do it 100%.  It's done this way or you just don't do it at all.  There have been occasions where I had to take a step back and reevaluate.  I was 190lbs when I began my weight training at Zia Strength Systems.  A small modest gym located in Albuquerque's South Valley.  The environment was intimidating as most members training in the gym were muscle based and pushing heavy weight and using unorthodox methods of strength training (flipping tires, pulling sleds, throwing empty kegs for distance, chains, etc.).  It was only two months before I asked Coach Trujillo permission to train with the three young ladies who were preparing for a meet.  He reluctantly agreed to let me train with them and allowed me to give it a try.  At that point i moved into warp speed as these young ladies were atleast 20 years younger than me.  I remember wondering what they thought of me?  Jacqualine, Ashely and Cassie.  after a few weeks they noticed that I was committed and they welcomed me and began to teach me.  Was I a shit show?  Absolutely.  In fact I still am.

I was going through so much turmoil in my personal life, but the men did not allow me to have one weak moment and I remember feeling safe when I was there.  The training had gotten real for me.  I was frustrated with Coach Trujillo because he would not let me put weight on the squat rack.  What the fuck was he wanting.  I felt like my form was right.  There was so much I was learning.  I was learning how to log my nightly training.  I was learning the different methods used for competition prep and didn't understand a damn thing.  Then there was Jordan.  This young, vivacious dictator who was pushing me while I was frightened of my ability to do the required movements.  He had a unique style when motivating and to the average women who tried their hand at this sport didn't want such grueling training.  When I met him my mind was weak but I knew he believed in me and before I knew it things began to fall in place.  In less than one year I competed in my first Powerlifting Meet.  I was hooked and the games began.  The gym was where I sought solace.  It was the place where the outside world and the distractions that plagued me were uninvited.  I was beginning a journey of a lifetime and I was surrounded by fearless, motivated, positive mentors.

The last meet I participated in was big.  It was going to be 12 weeks of hunkering down and using the conjugate method Coach Trujillo had put together for Ashley and I.  The method was grueling and quite frankly sucked as we were doing a max effort every night.  By week 10 both Ashley and I were having meltdowns at moments and I was beginning to feel my body shutting down.  I had never felt like this before but didn't want to say anything in fear that Jordan would tell me to shut the fuck up and train.  My shoulders were constantly aching and I remember sleeping with both arms in the air at night to alleviate the uncomfortable feeling.  Again, this meet was big.  We were competing in Sacramento, California and I had to put up respected numbers.  My squat was the most important.  I opened at 231lbs.  and ended with a PR of 267lbs.  I was stoked, but I felt something odd in my right quad.  I still had my deadlift.  It was the end of the day.  My body was tired and went into my opener at 225.  When I got to my 2nd lift at 297, Nothing!  I was stuck.  I immediately panicked and mentally gave up.  John Posen immediately approached me and used these words... "Stop mind fucking yourself and get out there and pull the bastard!"  my leg was in pain but got my wits about me and accomplished the lift with a PR of 297lbs.   I was a real Powerlifter!  The sport was not for everyone, especially women my age. It was an experience of a lifetime and although I have taken a break from it, I still think I have something left to prove to myself.

Powerlifting is all about the process.  No one likes the process.  You have to be in love with the process to achieve real success in this sport.  You don't have to be talented to achieve success but you have to grind.  When it was all over, I understood what the grind meant and each of us endured the process.

Everything you want is on the other side of fear!

Everything you want is on the other side of fear!

November 2016...  Have I figured out my purpose?  Five years ago I was faced with the biggest challenge of my life.  Fear took over the once confident Cynthia.  It paralyzed me and because of that I was unable to fully engage in a constructive environment and instead became self destructive.

Inside I was fighting because I knew what I wanted.  I was not going to find myself on my death bed when my time comes and regret that I allowed adversity to take over my life.  Look, things are going to happen to us.  People are going to disappoint us, but we must harnesh our will and let it go.  It has taken me years to accept it.

Ordinary?  Not in my vocabulary. Once I decided to look at fear in the eyes, opportunity was waiting.  at 42 years old I began a new career in Corrections, took on Powerlifting, became part of the Special Operations Response Team, tried my hand a Body Building and today I am preparing to compete in my first Jujitsu Tournament at 47 years old.   I have seen success, however, I would have to tell my readers that I am not quite sure how the hell I accomplished what I did due to my weak minded thoughts.  There were individuals who were instrumental in my success and who believed in me.  Today,  I have been massively controlling about what I allow into my headspace.  Here is where I have figured out my purpose.  My journey is important.  Sharing my story, my passions, my fears, and my darkest moments are instrumental in forming who I am and I hope that I can inspire one man or woman in their personal journeys.

This blog will give you the tools you need to challenge yourself as a human being.  You will fail.  You will suck at something, but at what degree will you work in order to achieve your goals.   You have to make a declaration and fuck the rest.  You only have one opportunity to leave your legacy.
Dreams are for dreamers and most people arn't thriving because of the sheer fear of failure.  Most of you are just coping, your not thriving.  When you figure out who you are and you cut the bullshit out of your life and move towards your goals, that is when you will see positive change.  Are you willing to cut certain people out of your life that don't contribute to your purpose?

It is my hope that this blog will bring substance to how you use your thinking process in achieving your purpose in life.  My successes have fueled my ambition and I am excited to see what lies ahead.