THE COMPETITIVE MIND
What drives us? we are all driven differently. For me when I do something, I do it 100%. It's done this way or you just don't do it at all. There have been occasions where I had to take a step back and reevaluate. I was 190lbs when I began my weight training at Zia Strength Systems. A small modest gym located in Albuquerque's South Valley. The environment was intimidating as most members training in the gym were muscle based and pushing heavy weight and using unorthodox methods of strength training (flipping tires, pulling sleds, throwing empty kegs for distance, chains, etc.). It was only two months before I asked Coach Trujillo permission to train with the three young ladies who were preparing for a meet. He reluctantly agreed to let me train with them and allowed me to give it a try. At that point i moved into warp speed as these young ladies were atleast 20 years younger than me. I remember wondering what they thought of me? Jacqualine, Ashely and Cassie. after a few weeks they noticed that I was committed and they welcomed me and began to teach me. Was I a shit show? Absolutely. In fact I still am.
I was going through so much turmoil in my personal life, but the men did not allow me to have one weak moment and I remember feeling safe when I was there. The training had gotten real for me. I was frustrated with Coach Trujillo because he would not let me put weight on the squat rack. What the fuck was he wanting. I felt like my form was right. There was so much I was learning. I was learning how to log my nightly training. I was learning the different methods used for competition prep and didn't understand a damn thing. Then there was Jordan. This young, vivacious dictator who was pushing me while I was frightened of my ability to do the required movements. He had a unique style when motivating and to the average women who tried their hand at this sport didn't want such grueling training. When I met him my mind was weak but I knew he believed in me and before I knew it things began to fall in place. In less than one year I competed in my first Powerlifting Meet. I was hooked and the games began. The gym was where I sought solace. It was the place where the outside world and the distractions that plagued me were uninvited. I was beginning a journey of a lifetime and I was surrounded by fearless, motivated, positive mentors.
The last meet I participated in was big. It was going to be 12 weeks of hunkering down and using the conjugate method Coach Trujillo had put together for Ashley and I. The method was grueling and quite frankly sucked as we were doing a max effort every night. By week 10 both Ashley and I were having meltdowns at moments and I was beginning to feel my body shutting down. I had never felt like this before but didn't want to say anything in fear that Jordan would tell me to shut the fuck up and train. My shoulders were constantly aching and I remember sleeping with both arms in the air at night to alleviate the uncomfortable feeling. Again, this meet was big. We were competing in Sacramento, California and I had to put up respected numbers. My squat was the most important. I opened at 231lbs. and ended with a PR of 267lbs. I was stoked, but I felt something odd in my right quad. I still had my deadlift. It was the end of the day. My body was tired and went into my opener at 225. When I got to my 2nd lift at 297, Nothing! I was stuck. I immediately panicked and mentally gave up. John Posen immediately approached me and used these words... "Stop mind fucking yourself and get out there and pull the bastard!" my leg was in pain but got my wits about me and accomplished the lift with a PR of 297lbs. I was a real Powerlifter! The sport was not for everyone, especially women my age. It was an experience of a lifetime and although I have taken a break from it, I still think I have something left to prove to myself.
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